Someone has died and the responsibility has landed on you. You are probably reading this on a phone, in a hallway or a parking lot, because a dozen people are waiting for you to know what happens next.
Most of what you have been told to do can wait. A small number of things cannot. This is the short list, in order.
Before anything else
Get the legal pronouncement of death. If the death happened in a hospital or hospice, staff handle this. If it happened at home and was expected, call the hospice line. If it was unexpected, call 911. Nothing else can proceed until this is done, because every document you will need later is generated from it.
Arrange care for anyone who depended on them. Children, adults under care, pets. This is the one task with a clock measured in hours rather than days.
That is the whole list of things that genuinely cannot wait a day.
The rest of the first three days
Secure the home. Lock it. Collect the keys. Write down who else has a set. Homes sit empty after a death and word travels — this is not paranoia, it is the ordinary precaution every probate attorney will ask whether you took.
Secure the vehicles and the valuables. Collect car keys. Photograph and list jewelry, cash, firearms, and collectibles. Do not distribute anything to anyone yet, no matter who asks or what they say they were promised. Once an item leaves, getting it back is your problem, and you may be personally answerable for it.
Find the will. Common places: a home safe, a filing cabinet, the attorney’s office, a safe deposit box. If you find one, do not sign anything on it or alter it. If you cannot find one, the estate is not lost — it just proceeds differently, and that is a conversation for later in the week.
Look for a prepaid funeral plan or written wishes. People buy these and then never mention them. Check the filing cabinet before you commit to arrangements, because you may be about to pay for something already paid for.
Make the funeral arrangements. Consistent with those wishes and with a budget you have actually looked at.
Start keeping receipts. From this moment, every dollar you spend out of your own pocket needs a receipt. Mileage, postage, certified mail, filing fees, the flight you booked at 2am. Executors are generally entitled to be reimbursed from the estate, but only for what they can document. Money you cannot prove you spent is money you have donated.
What you should not do yet
Do not pay the deceased’s debts from your own money. Not the credit card, not the medical bill, not the utility that just called. There is an order in which an estate pays creditors, it is set by state law, and it is not the order in which people call you. Pay out of turn and you can end up personally liable for the difference.
Do not close the utilities on a home that is occupied or that will be sold. A house with the heat off in February develops expensive problems.
Do not cancel the homeowner’s insurance. Do the opposite — call the insurer and tell them the home may be vacant. Most policies quietly void coverage on a home left empty past a certain number of days. Ask about a vacancy endorsement. This one catches people, and it catches them for the full value of the house.
Do not distribute anything. Not the ring, not the car, not the money in the joint account. Even when the will is clear. Even when the family agrees. Distribution comes after debts and after the court says so.
What comes next
Around day three, the work changes character. It stops being about the immediate hours and starts being about paperwork that arrives from several directions at once: certified death certificates, employer benefits, Social Security, the bank, the attorney, the court.
That is when a system starts to matter more than a good memory. Two things to read before you get there:
- How many death certificates you actually need — order the wrong number and you will spend weeks waiting on reorders.
- The documents to find before you call the bank — one search of the house now saves a dozen trips later.
This article is organizational guidance, not legal, tax, or financial advice. Probate rules, deadlines, and creditor priority vary by state. Consult a licensed attorney about your specific situation.
The Executor’s Kit is the ordered checklist this article is drawn from — 60+ tasks across three phases, with the trackers and letter templates that go with them. $30, one payment.